all the small things (tumblr drabbles)
by splendidlyimperfect
Summary: A collection of tumblr requests and short Fairy Tail drabbles. / Each chapter will be marked by pairing [' is platonic, 'x' is romantic] and will have trigger warnings as necessary. / Find me on tumblr (and submit requests) at @splendidlyimperfect
1. i carry your heart (natsu & gray)

_When Gray and Natsu lose the person they love the most, all they have left is each other._

* * *

Everything shatters on a cold afternoon in December.

"I miss him so fucking much," Natsu whispers, rubbing frantically at his face with the sleeve of his sweater. They're sitting in the living room at Lucy's house, curled up on the couch with one of her knitted blankets while she makes tea. Gray can hear her in the kitchen, pulling things from cupboards and putting the kettle on the stove.

"I know," he says to Natsu, because there's nothing else to say. The last three days have been one long stretch of pain, and Gray's not sure either of them can take anymore. Grief is the only thing he can feel right now – heavy and cold in his chest, pulling him down until he can't move or think or even breathe.

"'m sorry," Natsu mumbles through his sleeves; through the tears that are choking him.

"Don't be," Gray whispers, wrapping Natsu in his arms and pulling him close. Natsu's shaking, falling apart right here and Gray doesn't know how to hold him together because he's in pieces too. Their pain is like a living thing with claws and teeth and a furious anger that's too exhausted to scream.

Lucy comes back with the tea and sets it on the coffee table. It's peppermint. Gray can't stop crying.

"I h-hate… I can't—not, it's, there's…" Natsu's words are nonsense, sounds fragmented by choked sobs that pull at him, make him tremble in Gray's arms.

"I know," Gray says again, but maybe he doesn't say it out loud, maybe all he does is kiss Natsu's temple and take Lucy's hand and hold them both while they grieve.

* * *

It takes six months for either of them to be able to visit the cemetery. The first few times they don't go in; just stare at the soft pile of dirt that blankets the person they love.

Loved.

The fifth time, they make it past the gates. Natsu's grip on Gray's hand is bruising, and Gray holds the flowers because he's afraid Natsu might tear them apart.

"I can't," Natsu whispers when they're halfway there. Gray can see the stone now – a heavy black marker with numbers and letters that will never mean 'husband' or 'brother' or anything that he was to them.

"It's okay," he says. "I can."

_For you, _Gray thinks as he lets go of Natsu's hand and forces himself forward. _Anything for you. _It's just steps – one after another after another, leaving a trail of heartache behind him.

When he sets the flowers down, all he can think about is how soon they'll die.

* * *

A year and a half later, Natsu's ready.

"Will you come with me?" he asks Gray, voice clear and steady. His eyes are so green and he's so alive, filled with a tentative hope that lights up his face. He's always been beautiful – even if Gray doesn't love like other people do, he knows that Natsu is radiant. Brilliant.

Even grief couldn't dim his light forever. Nothing can. Nothing will.

"Always," Gray says. The answer will forever be _always, _because Natsu is his best friend, and Gray loves him in all the ways that he knows how.

* * *

"It hurts," Natsu whispers, squeezing his eyes shut as the tattoo needle buzzes against his skin. He grits his teeth and lets out a quiet, shaky breath.

"I know," Gray says softly.

"Can you—"

"Yes." Gray takes Natsu's hand in both of his, squeezing tightly like he did at the funeral when they had no more tears left to cry. "I'm here."

Natsu nods, pressing his forehead to their joined hands as Gray's thumb rubs against the back of his fingers. Gray knows that the hurt isn't in the needle, or the ink, or the redness spreading across Natsu's forearm. It's somewhere deeper, somewhere aching and familiar.

Sometimes, Gray wishes he could take the pain for both of them. He's grieved before, he knows how it goes, knows how to carry it and love it and keep the worst of the ache at bay.

Gray doesn't realize he's crying until Natsu touches his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Natsu whispers. "I know you miss him too."

* * *

They sit outside in the park, afterward, holding hands and leaning against each other. Gray turns Natsu's arm up and runs his fingers around the clear bandage covering the tattoo – a bumblebee in flight, surrounded by tiny, bright flowers.

"He'd love it," Gray whispers, closing his eyes and picturing blond curls, bright blue eyes, a million freckles, a wide smile with chipped teeth. He remembers summers at the lake, reading books with their mom, sleepovers in the backyard while they counted stars.

"It would be our anniversary next week," Natsu says softly, thumb running over the wedding band on his finger. He still wears it, even now, and Gray's pretty sure he'll never take it off. "Remember…" The word ends in a bitten-off sob.

"I remember," Gray says softly. He squeezes Natsu's hand as he thinks about how beautiful the day had been; how Gray's heart had spilled over with love when he'd watched the two of them say, 'I do.'

They're both quiet for a while, breathing together in the hot summer afternoon. A breeze picks up and pulls at the dandelions near their feet, tossing the seeds into the air and sending them away in lazy spirals.

"Do you want to talk about him?" Natsu asks after a while, voice still shaky.

Gray shakes his head. "I can't yet," he says, because even in his head, he still can't get past the words, _my brother is gone. _

"It's okay," Natsu says gently, tipping his head against Gray's as they watch the breeze ruffle the grass around them. "I'll be here when you're ready."


	2. when night comes (rogue x gray)

_Gray's overwhelmed by his new devil-slaying powers, but Rogue shows him that he doesn't have to fear the darkness._

_Set immediately after the Tartaros arc._

* * *

"Hey."

Rogue slips down the wall of the abandoned building, settling in next to Gray and nudging his shoulder. Gray doesn't respond, just pulls his knees tighter against his chest and turns away from Rogue. His hair is messy and windswept, blocking his face from Rogue's view, but Rogue knows he's been crying.

"Go away," Gray says quietly, pulling away from the way Rogue's pressed against his side.

Rogue leaves the space between them but doesn't move to stand. "I don't think that's a good idea," he says gently. He expects Gray to lash out at him, but all he hears is a sigh, then a quiet sniffle. Rogue waits a second, then asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Gray says, shoulders tensing like he's ready to push Rogue away.

"Okay," Rogue says.

Gray stills, tipping his head to the side. "Okay?" he asks.

"Mhm." Rogue stretches his legs out in front of him, wincing at the tight ache in the backs of his calves. Everything hurts, and it's hard to focus on any specific point of pain. "It's been a long day."

Gray makes a sound that might be a laugh, and Rogue can see some of the tension start leave his shoulders. He lets out a shaky breath, rubbing his face with both hands and staring straight ahead.

They sit in silence for a long time. Soft, pink tendrils of light creep through the darkness and devastation around them, lending a softness to its sharp edges as the sun sinks below the horizon.

Eventually, just before the light disappears completely, Gray says, "I lost my dad."

Rogue frowns. From what he knows, Gray's parents died a long time ago – killed by a demon that left him as the only survivor.

"I thought…" Gray hesitates. "For a few minutes, I thought I had him back." He exhales, and Rogue can hear the tears behind it. "And he gave me this magic—I don't know what it is, I don't understand it and I can _feel _it, it's dark and angry and wild and it scares me."

Rogue's about to ask what he's talking about when Gray turns to face him, and Rogue sees it. The right half of Gray's face is dark – twisting lines of black shifting across his pale skin. His eye, normally a deep blue, is a pale, frosty white.

"He turned me into a monster," Gray whispers. Tears slip down his cheeks and he wipes them away angrily with the back of his hand. "I could _feel _it, when he—Mard Geer, that spell, it was supposed to kill us… but I couldn't let it, I didn't know what to do, and it felt so dark and _cold." _

"You're not a monster," Rogue says, reaching out and touching Gray's cheek. Gray flinches but he lets Rogue run his fingers across the mark, thumb brushing under Gray's oddly colored eye.

"Then what am I?" Gray asks. The words hang between them, charged and unsure.

"You're still you," Rogue says. "That darkness – it doesn't change you. Not who you are, right here." He trails his fingers down and rests his hand over Gray's guild mark, where Gray's heartbeat thrums uncertainly under Rogue's fingertips. "You're still in charge."

"How do you know?" Gray asks. The dark lines shift along his skin – beautiful, mesmerizing patterns of light on dark.

"I've got darkness, too," Rogue says.

Gray's expression quickly turns chagrined and he shakes his head, stammering, "I didn't mean—I know your magic, it's not… I didn't mean _you're _a mon—"

"Gray." Rogue presses his palm flat against Gray's chest and moves in closer, keeping his eyes on Gray's. "It's all right to be scared." He smiles, brushing a stray strand of hair behind Gray's ear. "I can show you how to control it, if you want."

Gray gives Rogue a tentative nod, leaning into the press of Rogue's fingers in his hair. "Yeah," he says softly. "That—I'd like that."

"Good," Rogue says, just as Gray leans in and kisses him. It's soft and sweet, and Rogue can feel the darkness behind it that's so calming and familiar.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Gray murmurs as they finally pull apart. He presses his forehead to Rogue's and adds, "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course," Rogue says, settling back against the wall and pulling Gray into his arms. "Whatever you need."


	3. sing me to sleep (natsu x gray)

_Natsu keeps Gray safe from his nightmares._

* * *

Gray doesn't remember a time before the nightmares.

He knows that they started after Deliora – after the fire and blood and screaming that tore him to pieces. Before that, he thinks, there must have been nights of peace. He recalls his mother singing to him, fingers combing through his hair while she whispered words in a language he barely remembers. But those nights of dreamless sleep are a thing of years past, taken from him along with everything else he loved.

"Why won't you spend the night?"

Natsu stands in front of Gray at the door to his house, arms crossed over his chest, frown drawing his eyebrows together.

"Stop pouting," Gray grumbles, trying to nudge Natsu out of the way so he can leave.

"I'm not pouting," Natsu says, refusing to move. "You're brooding."

"I'm not—" Gray sighs, rubbing his face. "Look, I just want to…"

"Want to what?" Natsu uncrosses his arms and reaches out, brushing his fingers across Gray's arm. Gray tries his best not to flinch. "Why won't you stay?"

Gray keeps his eyes on the floor, because if he looks up at Natsu, he won't be able to leave. Ever since they started this thing – whatever it is, Gray's afraid to name it – he hasn't been able to say 'no' to Natsu. Not that he could before, either, but at least then, he could pretend.

"Hey." Natsu's voice gets softer. "Gray."

"Don't." Gray shakes his head.

"Don't what?"

"Say my name like that."

"Like what?"

_Like you love me, _Gray thinks.

Natsu sighs, wrapping his fingers around Gray's bicep and tugging him forward until their foreheads are pressed together. He runs his hand up the back of Gray's arm and across his shoulder, then curls Gray's hair around his fingers. "Please stay?"

Gray sighs. "Okay," he says, tipping his head up and letting Natsu kiss him. Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe tonight, he won't dream.

Gray wakes up screaming in an explosion of ice.

"No!" He sits up, scrambling back and holding both arms out in front of him, expecting to find his hands soaked in blood. The warmth of it still clings to his fingertips, wet and sticky, but there's nothing except snowflakes on his skin.

"Gray." The voice is familiar. Safe.

"I…" Gray shudders, clenching his hands into fists and looking around. He's surrounded by ice, sharp edges tearing in every direction, thick frost creeping up the walls in beautiful, deadly patterns. "Where…"

"Shh, it's okay." It's Natsu's voice, calming the terrified pounding of Gray's heart. "It's okay. You're all right." Gray squeezes his eyes shut, exhaling sharply when something warm touches the back of his hand. "You're safe now."

"No," Gray whispers, shaking his head. "Never… it's not…"

"C'mere." Warm arms wrap around him, melting the ice, soothing the fear.

"I didn't mean to." He shivers and burrows closer to Natsu's warmth, pressing his forehead into the crook of Natsu's neck.

"I know." A kiss on his temple.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Did I hurt you?"

"Never."

Gray listens to Natsu's heartbeat, strong and steady, and lets Natsu pull him back down until they're lying on the bed facing each other. "Is that why you didn't want to stay?" Natsu asks gently.

Gray nods as Natsu tucks a knee between his legs and pulls him close. They're both quiet for a while, just breathing against each other, and then Natsu starts to hum. At first Gray doesn't recognize the melody, but when Natsu adds the words that he hasn't heard in years, Gray starts to cry.

_ae'd dh r'asti lriis  
ha'oi'si lephi aet dh'esl  
esl'tas ta nyaja  
t'jaus_

Natsu's fingers are in his hair, just like his mother's, brushing away the dreams.

_sleep, my love  
i'm here with you  
you're safe in my arms  
always_

"How do you…"

"Levy taught me," Natsu says, kissing Gray's forehead. "She found a book from Isvan. I was gonna surprise you; I wasn't sure if you remembered any."

"Not much," Gray admits. "But I know that song." He wipes his face with the back of his hand. "My mom used to sing it to me."

"I'm sorry," Natsu says, voice uncertain. "I didn't—is it okay that I—"

"Yeah." Gray nods against Natsu's chest. Here in the dark, when Natsu's not looking into his eyes, it's easier to be vulnerable. To trust. To ask for the things he needs. "Can you—please?"

"Of course," Natsu murmurs, and quietly starts to sing again.

This time, when Gray falls asleep, he doesn't dream.


	4. as you wish (natsu x sting)

_Sting's having a bad day, and Natsu's there to cheer him up._

* * *

Natsu can tell that something's wrong as soon as Sting texts him.

_I don't think I can make it tonight, I'm not feeling good._

It's missing the plethora of emojis that usually follow, or the silly gif, or even a smiley face. The words are plain and unassuming and very clearly sad.

_u ok? _Natsu replies, one-handed as he rolls over toward the edge of the bed and feels around for a clean shirt.

_Yeah just coming down with something. I'll see you guys next week._

Natsu finally finds something that's not dirty and tugs it on, then frowns at the words on his screen. Sting has never missed game night. He's always there with his bright smile and an extra-large coffee, and a Tupperware of homemade cookies (with special ones on the side for Natsu that have raisins instead of chocolate chips). He's loud and cheerful, and nearly glows with an energy that Natsu's loved since the first time he was around it.

Natsu's phone dings with another message. _Can you let everyone else know? I don't feel up to texting everyone. _

Which is ridiculous because they have a group chat, and Sting's usually the most talkative one in it, sending random memes and photos to brighten up everyone's days.

Instead, Natsu sends a quick message to Gray – _sting & me cant make it, can we do next tues instead? _– then grabs a hoodie from the floor and heads for the door.

* * *

Sting doesn't answer the door so Natsu lets himself in.

"Sting!" Natsu kicks off his shoes, crouching down to scratch Lector's head as the fat orange tabby meows at him and rubs around his legs. "Where's your human, huh, buddy?" Natsu murmurs. Lector mrowls at him, then trots down the hallway toward the living room.

The apartment is a mess. Sting's not the neatest person, but right now it looks like a tornado's torn through the place. Dirty dishes are piled on the counter, books are strewn across the kitchen table, and there, curled up in a miserable pile on the couch, is Sting.

"Hey, sunshine," Natsu says gently. Sting blinks up at him, brow furrowed in confusion.

"What're you…"

"I brought takeout." Natsu sets the bag of Chinese food on the coffee table, then settles down on the couch next to Sting. "And your favorite movie." He holds up a copy of 'The Princess Bride.'

"Why…" Sting looks like he's going to cry. Actually, he looks like he's already been crying. "What're you…"

"I'm sorry you're not feeling good," Natsu says gently. "I know this won't make it better, but I thought—"

He's interrupted by Sting, who is suddenly nearly in his lap with his arms wrapped around Natsu's shoulders. Natsu relaxes into the embrace, tipping his head against Sting's and running his fingers through the mess of blond curls.

"You're the best," Sting mumbles, pressing his face into the crook of Natsu's neck. Natsu kisses Sting's temple, shifting on the couch until he's lying against the armrest and Sting is curled up in his arms.

"You deserve it," he murmurs, pulling Sting close.

By the time the chow mein is finished and Buttercup and Westley are sharing the kiss that left them all behind, Sting's smile is back. He rests contentedly against Natsu, head on his chest, fingers drawing patterns on the back of Natsu's hands.

"Thank you," he says softly as the credits start to roll. He shifts in Natsu's arms so that they're facing each other, legs tangled together, noses so close that Natsu can count his freckles.

"Always," Natsu murmurs, then leans in so that they can share their very own pure, very passionate kiss.


	5. this is your song (gray x sting)

_Sting's PTSD won't let him sleep, and the only thing that helps is Gray's singing._

_TW for past traumatic injuries and PTSD/nightmares_

* * *

"Did you sing to me?"

The question comes late one night when Sting and Gray are curled up together in bed, feeding each other popcorn and half-watching Queer Eye.

Gray frowns. "Sing to you?"

"Mm."

"When?"

Sting rubs the fabric of the blanket between his fingers and says, "In the hospital."

Gray doesn't answer right away, and Sting peeks up at him, taking in both the pink flush of embarrassment and the expression of grief that flits across his face. He takes Sting's hand and runs his fingers across his palm. "You remember that?"

"Sort of." Sting chews his lip, trying to catch the fragmented melody that's been flitting around in his head for the last while. "There's… pieces. It was all so hazy."

"I know," Gray murmurs.

They're both quiet for a minute, and Sting can't help but slip back into memories. It's all bits and pieces – some of it what Gray's told him, some of it his own recollection of things he's not quite sure are real. He remembers shouting and the sound of breaking glass, and a pain to match the scar that runs from behind his ear to his collarbone.

Everyone says Sting is a hero. There's an article about the whole thing online – _Good Samaritan in critical condition after saving woman from mugging._ Sting doesn't remember, though. Not when he's awake, anyway. When he's dreaming, pieces come back, and he wakes up yelling for Gray to help him as he bleeds out onto the pavement.

And Gray does help him. He holds Sting tight and kisses his forehead, strokes his hair and reassures him that he's safe.

"I think I need the meds tonight," Sting says quietly, looking back down at their joined hands.

"Yeah?" Gray's voice is soft. "You want them now?"

Sting nods. It's nearly midnight and he should be tired, but instead he's raw and electric and not quite right in his own skin.

Gray leans over to the bedside table and fishes around in the drawer for a second, then comes back with two small white pills. Sting swallows them dry, then rubs his face and flops back against the pillows, sighing in frustration. He shouldn't need them anymore – it's been almost three months. He should be better.

Gray grabs the remote and turns off the TV, then moves the popcorn bowl to the bedside table and tugs the blanket up over both of them. "I love you," he says as he gently pulls Sting to his chest and starts to comb his fingers through Sting's hair. "And I'm so proud of you, even when you're struggling and scared." Sting feels Gray press a soft kiss to his forehead, and the gentle gesture nearly makes him cry.

"Could you..." Sting trails off and Gray nudges him.

"What?"

"...sing to me again?" Sting shifts back to he can look at Gray. "I can't remember the song, but your voice..." The tips of Gray's ears start to turn red and Sting shakes his head. "You don't have to, I just—"

Gray stops him with a gentle hand on his cheek, then quietly starts to hum. Sting slowly relaxes back against Gray's chest, listening to the flutter of his heartbeat as a background to the soft words of the song.

_And you can tell everybody this is your song_  
_It may be quite simple but now that it's done_  
_I hope you don't mind_  
_I hope you don't mind_  
_That I put down in words_  
_How wonderful life is while you're in the world_

Sting cuddles up closer to Gray, running his hand across Gray's chest and down to his stomach. Gray keeps singing, combing his fingers through Sting's curls and tracing patterns across the back of his hand.

When the song is done, Gray surprises Sting by starting another one – this one Sting doesn't recognize, but the melody matches the fragments of memory he's pulled from his time in the hospital. Something settles in his chest, fitting into the broken pieces that he can't quite remember.

He's nearly asleep when Gray stops singing, and he manages a quiet _thank you_ as Gray dims the lights.

"Always," Gray murmurs. "Anything for you."


	6. sunset rooms (sting x natsu)

_Natsu and Sting take a road trip in honor of Gray and Rogue, and Sting realizes he doesn't want to go home._

_cw for mention of previous character death_

* * *

"What if we didn't go back?"

Natsu frowns, tipping his head back and looking at Sting upside down from where he's lying between Sting's legs. Sting's got his fingers in Natsu's hair, braiding it absently while staring out at the horizon. They're parked just off the highway, watching the sun slip slowly down through the mountains from the back of the van. Light spills across the trees as the sun recedes, dragging the day with it.

"What do you mean?" Natsu asks. He tips his head to press a kiss to the inside of Sting's wrist, right over the word _beloved _that's inked into his skin.

Sting smiles at the touch, rubbing his thumb across Natsu's cheek, but he keeps his gaze on the mountains in the distance. The setting sun fills the car with a soft, gold light, and for a moment, Sting looks like he's glowing.

"I don't want to go back," he says, this time as a statement instead of a question. "It's not the same. Not anymore." His voice softens. "Not without them."

Natsu sees the grief flicker across Sting's face, but it's tempered by the soft smile lines at the corners of his eyes. The tears that used to fall and fall are gone, and his expression of quiet contentment makes Natsu fall in love with him all over again.

Natsu pushes himself up to sitting and turns to face Sting. "Can I kiss you?" he asks, waiting for Sting to look at him. Sting's eyes are the same bright blue as the summer sky that they've been driving under for weeks.

"Yeah," Sting says, smiling and leaning in. It's just as soft and gentle as the first time, a year ago when they had realized that they were more than just places for each other's grief.

_Rogue would understand, _Natsu had said when they had pulled apart, Sting trembling under his fingertips. _Gray, too. He told me, before he died, he said to find the things that bring me joy and hold them close. _

Then he'd pulled Sting into his arms and kissed his head, and they'd sat on the front porch together all night, staring at the stars and talking about Rogue and Gray.

Now, eleven months and six days later, Sting's skin is warm under Natsu's fingers, and he hums quietly when Natsu kisses him. His gentle touches and quiet, happy sounds make Natsu feel loved and so very alive.

Eventually he pulls back and presses a kiss to the freckles across Sting's nose. "What?" he asks, raising an eyebrow when Sting studies his face.

Sting smiles and shakes his head, shifting until his chest is pressed to Natsu's back and wrapping his arms around Natsu's waist. "Just love you," he says, voice muffled by Natsu's sweater.

"I love you too, sunshine," Natsu says softly, sliding his fingers between Sting's until they're sort-of holding hands. He runs his thumb over the ring on Sting's right hand – it's plain silver set with a tiny black stone, a reminder of the boy he'd loved since he was fifteen and had lost at twenty-two. Natsu still wears his own wedding ring, on his right hand as well, to remind him of the man who had shared his life for over a decade.

He and Sting don't have rings for each other, and they won't ever. They do have matching socks with cats on them, and coffee mugs that say _I love you _and _I know, _and a camper van just big enough for the two of them and their adventures. They have all of that and each other, and it's enough.

Natsu brings Sting's hand up to his lips and kisses his fingertips, then asks, "Where do you want to go?"

Sting sighs, leaning forward until his chin is on Natsu's shoulder and he can rest their heads together. "Dunno yet," he says. The light is disappearing now, pulling a blanket of shadow over the miles and miles of forest that stretch out in either direction as far as they can see. "Does it matter?"

Natsu laughs, cuddling closer as a cool breeze picks up and ruffles his hair. They'd planned to go back, afterward – after they'd seen all the places that Rogue and Gray hadn't had a chance to see. But home isn't a place, it's a person, and Natsu's home is right here.

"No," he says as the stars start to shine above them and the moon casts a silver glow over the mountains. "We can go anywhere you want."


End file.
